alwaysrec

America-san! As a more older and mature country, I have always tried to understand that your thoughtless actions was a result of your youth and energy. It is very understandable, because when I was young I was that way as well.

However! Ever since the last war, you have only caused me trouble! I tried to mention it from time to time, but I always held it back, because I did not want to cause thoughtless trouble and you were America. But enough is enough!! Even I can get angry as well, America-san!! Have you realized that when you get a cold, I catch an influenza?! And yet, you ask me to oay for your expenses?! You say I am jealous of your cars, but it's not my fault that everyone likes my cars better. The same with my games! If you don't want your comapnies crashing, then I suggest you at least have your technology up to par with Korea-san's.

And I don't want your weird colored cakes! They taste bad!!

Ahem. I hope you enjoy my gift, America-san. It's filled with my feelings that I have right now.

((Dear America. Thanks to Japan's unknown hacking skeeels, your computer will endlessly repeat your favorite ghost videos. (if it is okay) And the whole fourth floor will be filled with haunted house effects. Dude, don't underestimate Japanese horror.))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hey! The Civil War was a very trying time! And don't speak about shit you don't understand, nazi wanna be! Go back to living in Russia's basement!

You ought to stop talking about shit no one understands! If you're going to insult me, do it properly, you bastard! None of this nonsense! Be a real man!

Yeah, keep your ass in blissful ignorance, asshole. The longer you keep pretending your empire still exists the less you'll go crying to your brother!

I can show you what a real man's like, fuckhead. Wanna try me?

[He's putting crazy clue on your door knobs now for whatever reason.]

[ Door knobs? Who the fuck uses door knobs? Prussia's the only real man in the mansion, you know. HE KICKS THE FUCKING DOOR DOWN. ]

Are you challenging me? Hahaha! Don't you remember Valley Forge? I taught you how to fight! There is no way in hell a little brat like you could even dream of winning against me!

[God why can't I spell anymore it's glue wtf whyyyyy the door is busted down and there is America. With a water pistol. Filled with beer! Because Germans will obviously melt if they get shot with beer.]

I've won against you before, German scum! [He proudly declares, wielding the gun like it's a fucking bazooka or something.] You're WAAAAAY too far in the past to even stand a chance against me!

[And he'll shoot you now, Prussia! What now!]

[ Silly American. Don't you know? Beer only makes him stronger. ]

Inventing your own military triumphs is a new low! I see more and more familiarities between you and England with each passing day!

[ And with that, he pulls a conveniently placed rope by the once-door. A GODDAMNED PIANO WILL DROP FROM GODKNOWSWHERE. He had been saving that for Hungary. ): ]

[Oh snaps! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!]

I don't need to make up my triumphs! [His grin fades really quickly though.] HOW DARE YOU compare me to that old bore of a nation! [He's ready to shoot you in the face!]

CLANG!

[The piano falls, and promptly crushes him. It stays there for a moment, the gun gets sent flying, and there is silence. But then, the piano begins to creek, and slowly liiiiift itself off the floor.

How could you forget, Prussia? AMERICA IS SECRETLY THE HULK! And what remains of the piano is going to get thrown at you now.]

[ Ha ha ha! Mine is an evil laugh! NOW DIE.

Oh sweet Jesus, it's like some sort of zombie Hulk. Prussia will be dodging out of the way like some heroic action movie hero while you can almost hear generic explosion music in the background.

He rolls, picking up his stockpiled weaponry: a goddamned balloon bazooka. Also, the water balloons? Are filled with maple syrup. Enjoy, you prick. ]

YOU CERTAINLY INHERITED HIS EYEBROWS!

[ With that, he opens fire. ]

[AUGH OH GOD.

America is stunned because his eyebrows are nothing like England's, and in that moment of retaliation, he's smacked with several balloons.

And is made sticky. His bomber jacket is made sticky.

There is a look of total raeg on the blond's face.]

MY EYEBROWS ARE NOTHING LIKE HIS!

[And he's lunging for you, Prussia.]

[ Just as planned.

However, the whole lunging thing wasn't. Not in the least. In fact, the only thoughts in Prussia's head are 'not the uniform! Not the uniforrrrmmmmmmm!'

Syrup + Awesome Kickass Uniform = VERY ANGRY PRUSSIA. There will be revenge for your transgressions. IN THE FORM OF A CROTCHKICK TO FLORIDA. ]

I BET YOU PLUCK THEM!

[Every time you kick America in the groin, Florida suffers from an earthquake. The fact this isn't the first time today is just lovely. He's now sticky and pissed as all hell and trying to not whine about the fact that Florida keeps being attacked and for the moment he's on the ground inherently useless. Because seriously, what the fuck.]

At least I'm not just fucking ugly like you are! [And yet, he's still insulting him. Ffft.]

~o4

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lol pot calling the kettle here

Oh, Amurika.

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